You keep coming back.

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You keep coming back. 
I no longer wanna think about you, and feel you on my skin. So distant, yet so close is something between us which no longer exists. It hurts, just a little to relive the memories i have had with you, but i no longer wanna think about you. I no longer wanna stab my self, thinking you'll come back and everything will be as fine as it used to be. I no longer wanna torture myself, i no longer wanna miss our late night talks, and our failed attempts at shower sex.

I no longer wanna think of how my kisses stained your neck, and how it turned 'pale-purple'. I no longer wanna think about how your lips tasted, but i can still feel it on my tongue. I no longer wanna lean on your shoulder, everytime i am sad, but i miserably die everytime i fall onto your pillow besides mine, you're not here anymore. 
I no longer wanna step onto the mines you planted within my soul and boom myself up, and i no longer wanna hear your love stories. I am glad that you've found love again. But for the love of God, mak sure he falls in love with you before you fell in love with him. Because you don't have the spine to bear the weight of what i carry. 
I no longer wanna miss the gentle touch of your fingers, and i no longer wanna know you, 
I almost wish i never met you, i almost wish that everything which happened had never happened on the first place. But i think it hurts, just because it was real.
And i no longer wanna watch this reality, i no longer wanna feel like it wasn't permanent, and was barely a one night stand after which i was dropped like an option. 
But you, you, just keep coming back

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